Life's Contemplation
by Kilee Drifter
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha has died. 6 months after returning to Konoha was all it took. During his last hours, he contemplates his life and what he's been influences by: Team 7, Orochimaru, the Uchiha Clan, Hebi, and Itachi. Just what does he realize? Death fic.
1. His life in a nutshell

**So, here's my new story. This idea just popped into my head yesterday, and after some thought, i've put most of it to paper. Expect the next few chappies soon. I haven't typed them, but they're already out here now on my notepad in black and white...uh yellow actually. Yellow notepad.**

**A little story of Sasuke dieing. Just what do you suppose he thinks about?**

_Kilee Drifter_

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Sasuke lay on the hospital bed staring at the ceiling. He had, according to the doctors and Tsunade, 3 hours left. 3 hours of pathetic existence before a void that would last for eternity. Or maybe not. Who knew?

Itachi had been captured by the ANBU and was awaiting death, but the punishment had been postponed. Why? The village was waiting for the younger Uchiha to die first. Who could blame them?

His life had been a waste. 8 years of unfulfilled childhood, then 4 of isolation and festering hatred for his own kin. Just under a year of bonding after all of that. It was grueling, hard bonding that the boy was not prone to, but bonding all the same. After that came 2 ½ years of practical slavery to the now deceased sannin. After all of that, he had about 5 months of chasing after his brother as the leader of Hebi. Of course, that ended when Naruto finally caught up to him. After the first three months, his body started to fail him, and here he was now, three months later, alone and dying.

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**No, that's not it. Like i said, there's more coming, but the first chappie up there was Sasuke in general. Thankies.**


	2. The Uchiha Clan

**Second chappie. Sasuke thinks about his days in the Clan, and how it affected him.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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He remembered his childhood. His parents and his other relatives and Itachi...but he didn't want to think about Itachi right now.

His mother had always been so kind. The direct foil to his father. She'd notice him, and help him when he hurt himself while training. She'd encourage him. It was always her memory that was at the top of a list of very few people Sasuke would actually cry over. It was all too bad now though.

His aunt and uncle would help him as well. If he ever needed extra kunai or shuriken or some food for school, he knew exactly where to go.

There was one time, just one time where his father had looked at Sasuke with respect.When he had finally mastered the Katon, Goukyakyu no Jutsu. Other than that, his father had always put 100 of his faith in his elder brother. What was Sasuke to him than a mere existence brought into the world on his mother's whim?

The rest of the clan usually didn't turn their heads to him. He was "Fugaku's other son." Who cared?

What was family? A group that was supposed to support you. Love you. Care about you. It had been numerous amounts of people. But except for his brother all of them had perished.

And where was his brother now?

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**I forgot to type this in last chapter, but it applies to all chapters of all Naruto fanfiction I write.**

**NARUTO the manga/anime, and any and all characters in the story UNLESS specifically marked otherwise belong to Mashashi Kishimoto.**


	3. Kakashi

**Third chappie. What Sasuke thinks of Kakashi.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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Sasuke's thoughts drifted from Fugaku to Kakashi. Didn't everyone need a father figure?

His biggest regret was leaving Team 7 behind. He knew full well what he'd meant to Naruto and Sakura. But what about Kakashi?

It seemed to Sasuke that Team 7 was like Kakashi's biggest mental responsibility. Naruto was the son of Namikaze Minato, who was the 4th Hokage and Kakashi's own sensei. Rin bore a slight physical resemblance to Sakura, and both of them excelled in medical ability. Obito, like Sasuke, was an Uchiha, and a close friend, in a way, to Kakashi. It must have been Fate playing her cards at the silver-haired jounin's expense. Obito was dead and Sasuke was dying. Sasuke shrugged off that idea, but a few memories lingered in his mind. Kakashi always used to favor training Sasuke to Naruto, and he practically abandoned Sakura. Kakashi was the one who reassured a rattled Sasuke in their first battle with Zabuza.

But Sasuke had done nothing but break the trust of all his teammates. There was no way Kakashi would even look at him anymore.

What Sasuke didn't know was that at that very moment, the Chidori's inventor was in his room, thumbing through his pictures.

What he didn't know was Kakashi felt so bad that any member of Team 7 should die before him. It was the second time a team he was affiliated with so closely was falling into the black abyss and landing into the caress of the reaper.

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**The next chapter is REALLY sad. Trust me it could be a tearjerker.**


	4. Sakura

**This chapter almost made me cry.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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Sasuke turned his head weakly towards a window and noticed somethiing interesting. A Sakura Blossom Tree. As the petals fell, images passed through his mind.

Sakura always had a ring to her voice tgat secretly melted even the Uchiha's heart. All the men of the village went after just as all the women once went for him. But the men had reason. She'd grown into her high forehead and her once plain figure blossomed gracefully. She was well-educated and kind.

And on top of that, unlike other girls who now had boyfriends and kisses and hugs, and maybe even an impending marriage, Sakura Haruno had never been touched. And Sasuke secretly loved her.

It wasn't the proverbial "love at first sight" thing. Back when she was a mindless fangirl, Sasuke would rather have been stuck in a pit of rabid dogs then have to spend time with her. But she eventually grew up, and that more mature side of her made her truly beautiful.

How many times had she said that she loved him? She even offered to abandon Konoha for Sasuke. And unlike him, she still had family there that she was willing to leave behind. It would have been brutal for her heart to split in two like that, but it did. And in retrospect, Sasuke figured that he either should have stayed in Konoha or taken her with him. She had said, "I love you." All he could say was "Thank you."

But what he meant was "I love you too." It was all in vain. It was better that she end up with Naruto or Lee anyway. Someone that could take care of her. Someone that she would never have to waste her life for again. In truth, he loved her that much as to let her go.

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**A real tearjerker, eh? Or at least it feels kinda sad.**


	5. Naruto

**The third and final of Sasuke's teammates of Team 7. Maybe he wasn't as much of a dobe as SAsuke thought he was after all.**

**"Ghost of You" fits this very well, believe it or not.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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Sasuke smiled, actually smiled when he say the nurse wheel in his last meal. Not because he was happy to die, but because there was ramen there. It seemed so fitting that even he turned from something that reminded him of one of his teammates that he should confront something of the other. Were the upper powers of the universe trying so hard to drive him mad?

The boys had always been rivals after all. At first it was always Sasuke that seemed to win, but Naruto grew strong enough to surpass hi9m. When Sasuke confronted Naruto on that fateful day for the first time since his defection, the Uchiha seemed as the superior of the two again. But who had won in the end, when one was broken and dying while the other had fulfilled his lifelong dream?

Obviously both of them came from bad backgrounds. They had faced life as orphans. Living alone. Struggling to prove their worth. Seemingly unreachable dreams. They even landed on the same team. In a way, each had it harder than the other.

Sasuke had always had "natural talent" in the Academy, while Naruto suffered and had to repeat the courses three times before his success. Naruto had been shunned by everyone (except for Hinata, but she was too shy to ever truly help him in those days) and cursed with the power of the Kyuubi, while Sasuke had many adoring fangirls. Naruto, unlike Sasuke, had been alone from birth. Yet the blond boy became everything he aspired to be.

Of course, there was one key reason that Naruto had come so much farther than Sasuke. While Sasuke shut everyone out, Naruto let people in. And Naruto found Iruka. Iruka was the one person that showed his belief in Naruto, and that was the energy that let that little seed called Naruto bloom. Sasuke on the other hand, was always seen as the best. Everyone acted like they believed in him, that much was true. But if they really believed in him that much, why wouldn't someone have reached him before it was too late? Even though the Uchiha shut people out so much, there were a few times where if anyone reached out to him enough, he would have been saved. Team 7 came so close but failed. Iruka succeeded with Naruto as a teacher.

But who was able to teach the lost cause? Who could have helped Sasuke?

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**Ok, 6 IS COMING SOON**


	6. Family old and new, part 1

**Well, this is near the end. Hope ya like.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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He finished eating his food, and with all the thoughts he'd been conjuring in his mind, the clock chimed that the Uchiha only had about an hour left. At first he'd tried to stop the thoughts that'd he'd had about his life after Konoha, but it was useless to stop them.

Going to Orochimaru made him physically strong, but mentally weak. It was true that Orochimaru trained Sasuke in every possible craft of ninjutsu that he could think of. But the Sound Village itself was nothing more than a mental hell. He was attacked by Orochimaru numerous times a day in his training, left bleeding, maybe even half dead at times. Then they'd whisk him down to Kabuto's office. Kabuto had a habit of using the most painful methods of medical ninjutsu he could find on his patients, and the worst part was that the word "anesthesia" was not in the traitor's dictionary.

Living with Hebi was no easy matter either. Whenever Suigetsu and Jugo were out attending to some other matter of their business, Karin was always there to try and have her way. Ssauke personally wanted to rip off her hand and then stuff it down her throat, but he knew that he neded al three of his teammates to accomplish his goal. Suigetsu and Jugo were never gone too long, but sometimes enough for Karin to get a few of her "wishes" come true. Thankfully nothing drastic. If there had been pink hair instead of red, Sasuke wold have enjoyed it. But he should have thought of that a long time ago. Suigetsu and Jugo were ok though. Sasuke almost tried to think of them as family.

Until Suigetsu ratted Sasuke out for a bounty.

Some family.

His family lived only in his childhood. When little Sasuke had sprained his ankle, he remembered his nii-san piggybaking him all the way home. Before Itachi's ANBU days, the elder Uchiha had plenty of time to spend with Sasuke. Which triggered his earliest memories of an eight year old Itachi as he feel asleep.

_"Nii-san!" Sasu screamed, as Itachi came home from his graduation exam._

_"Hey Sasu, look what I got!"_

_"It's Daddy's headband!"_

_"Nope. Heh. It's mine I got it today." Itachi flashed off a rare grin. Well, it wasn't rare back then._

_"Wow, Nii-san! You're a ninja!"_

_"Yes. Yes I am."_

_"I want one too! I wanna be like Nii-san!"_

_"You have to get older first, then graduate from the Academy."_

_"But..I..." Sasu had tears in his eyes._

_"Don't worry Sasu. You'll get one too when you get older. Hey..wanna try it on?!"_

_"Really!?"_

_"Yeah!" Itachi tied the headband on Sasu and took him to a mirror. When the headband came off, Itachi poked his forehead for the first time. That was his family._


	7. Family, old and new, part 2

**Behold, the death of Sasuke Uchiha.**

_Kilee Drifter_

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Sasuke woke up to an amazing sight yet again. He was still alive, although he was very weak and knoew his time was imminent. What it was that he woke up to see were Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, and Itachi sitting in his room looking at him.

The boy had always thought he was alone. That he had to be alone. That even one day when his ambition was completed, he'd still be alone for everything he'd done. All this time he was blind to the truth. All this time they were there. Watching him. Waiting for him. With the exception of his older brother, of course. It puzzled the young boy as to the reason that his brother was watching him die.

Naruto had one hand on Sakura's shoulder, and Sakura was fighting back tears. She seemed stronger, because even in the moment of his death, she wasn't crying. Maybe she didn't love him anymore. He was dead wrong. She did.

She always had.

Kakashi was watching him, mask covering up any expression that he bore. He looked so blatant, like he didn't care, even though he did.

Then there was Naruto. The blond's eyes were shifting between the rosette kunoichi and the dying raven. Cerulean eyes bore a mixture of hatred and sadness.

The future Hokage loved and hated him at the same time.

Sasuke glimpsed again at the four in the room. They still puzzled him. Why did they still care? Did they? Or were they just here to leave the last figment of their burdens behind them?

It was a question with an answer that came a bit too late. The younger Uchiha's breath slowed, and then stopped. He flat-lined, and onyx eyes becamse steel gray; still they were staring, asking for the answer they'd never see.

And then that answer came. Sakura and Naruto burst into tears. Kakashi looked away. Then he looked at Itachi.

Itachi didn't do anything. He just stared down at the floor motionless, like a forgotten sillouette. But Kakashi knew that wasn't the truth.

As the original heir to the Uchiha Clan, Itachi had been taught never to reveal his emotions. He was a ninja after all.

But Kakashi knew that it didn't take the Sharingan to see that inside, Itachi was guilty about his brother's death. Even Itachi could cry on the inside. He obviously was doing so.

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**Sad, neh?**


End file.
